[ﾌｧﾝﾚﾀｰ]拙い英語を添削してください。 海外の俳優にファンレターを書きました。 ...

[ﾌｧﾝﾚﾀｰ]拙い英語を添削してください。



海外の俳優にファンレターを書きました。

せめて、だいたいの意味が伝わる程度の文にしたいです。


アドバイスよろしくお願いします。できれば、私が書いた文を残して頂けると嬉しいです。



また、文脈等で不自然なところがあれば教えてください。





Dear.(俳優名)



Hello. How are you?

My name is (私の名前).I'm 17-year-old girl who live in Japan.I'm glad and excited that you are now reading this letter.



I saw you for the first time "作品名①". I love human drama and real CG in it(作品①のこと). "作品名①" is mysterious and very exciting, but often funny and uender.so I love this drama very much.

I love 役名① the best of all the charactors. He is genius, intelligentt (,but sometimes make misstakes), kind, humorous, charming,..... His various face like this fascinateed me, and I become a huge fan of yours.



I saw "作品名②", which a drama you played. New world view of Alice is very interesting and exciting, and I saw it again and again.

役名② is somewhere mysterious and sexy, so gap between 役名① and 役名② amazed me.Your acting is SOOOO great and cool!



I would like to ask you a small faver.Could you please send me your autographed photograph?I know you are veryo busy, but it would mean so much to me. I will treasure it my whole life.



I heard you filming "作品①" season 4&5. I looking forward to seeing it.

I love your smile very much. Your smile makes me happy. Please take yourself. I hope your happiness and more and more activity. I will be being your VERY VERY VERY huge fan forever.





with love, (私の名前)

Hello,←how are you?は初対面に馴れ馴れしすぎますね。



My name is (私の名前).I'm 17-year-old girl who live in Japan.

I'm glad and excited if you are now reading this letter. ←that でもいいですが。ifのほうが期待感を表す感じですね。



I saw you for the first time in "作品名①". ←inがいりますね

I love human drama and real CG in it(作品①のこと). ←これは、"作品①" becomes my favorite because of its story of human drama and CG (real CGは英語ではありません。）のほうが、ニューアンスが伝わると思います。



"作品名①" is mysterious and very exciting, but often funny and uender.←not only ~, but sometime~で書いた方がいいですね。

uenderはtender or humerのスペルミス？



（so I love this drama very much.）最初の好きと重複するので、削除です。





I love 役名① the best of all characters. ←theを抜きました

He is genius, intelligent (,but sometimes make mistakes), kind, humorous, charming,..... His various face fascinates me and make me a huge fan of you.←タイプミスを直しました。二文目は、主語を彼の顔に固定しました。または、Iを主語で固定ですね。



I recently saw "作品名②"(,in which you played). ←「あなたが演じた」 は分かっているので、要らないでしょう。

New point of view for Alice's world is very interesting and exciting, ←アリスの世界観の新しい見方にしました。

(and I saw it again and again.)←映画館でみたなら I went to a theater repeatedly. DVDを買ったならI bought its DVD to see repeatedly. こちらの方が臨場感が出ると思います。映画館に通いつめ、DVDも買ったなどとつなげてもOKですが。



役名② is something mysterious and sexy, Your talent is awesome!! Your screen play between 役名① and 役名② is amazing .Your acting is SOOOO great and cool!←somewhereは場所ですので、somethingが妥当です。ここらでTalentの言葉を使っておくといいかも。awesomeとか若者っぽい言葉も入れて。



I was wondering if you would mind sending me your autograph. I have enclosed a self-addressed stamped envelope for your convenience.

I hope to hear from you soon, and deeply appreciate your generosity in fulfilling this request. ←ここは、ばっさり変えています。英語的回りくどい表現にしました。ただ、切手（又は国際返信切手券）を貼った封筒にあなたの住所を書いて、送ってくださいね。

It will become my treasure for my whole life.←お礼や感激は、その対象を主語にしたほうが気持ちが伝わります。





I heard you filming "作品①" season 4&5. I looking forward to seeing in the screen.

I love your smile very much. Your smile makes me happy.

(Please take yourself. )←お大事の意味と思いますが、英語では使いません。削除しましす

I hope your happiness and more and more activity. I am being your VERY VERY VERY huge fan forever.←現在進行形+foreverで未来永劫ですね。



Thank you.



Sincerely,←with love は親しい人向けです。





（私のサイン）←日本通の人ならば、漢字のサインもアリかも。

（私の名前）

（私の住所）